Two Weeks of Kiddos Done & God's Grace.

Whew. 
My first junior and teen week for camp complete!

I've been at Highpoint for over a month and it has been such a learning experience. I've had the opportunity to clean lots of urinals, go tubing, sing songs about a moose who likes to drink juice, and encourage kids and teens to know Christ and give it all to Him. I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me. Prayers are definitely felt and needed.

I've realized how mentally, physically, and emotionally weak I am and how self-centered I am; how easily I would like to give up and throw my hands in the air. I've seen how judgmental I am and how I have a love-hate relationship with comparing myself to others.

God's teaching me so much about His grace this summer. I've often struggled with the idea of how God's grace works. I've struggled with questions like, "Does God only give me grace when I'm "doing" the Christian life well?" "Does God remove His grace and blessing from me when I mess up?" "Does God punish me to make up for where I disobeyed Him?" I guess it's kind of what the church of Galatia dealt with-- how do I perfect myself in sanctification to deserve God's grace??

Last weekend I picked up a book off a coffee table called The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges. It has helped propel my understanding a little more about God's grace in my life. Somewhere, I came to believe that I could earn God's grace after salvation--like I could perform in a way that would make Him love me more. If I don't perform well, then I have to work my way back to make Him happy with me again.

Oh so wrong. Brutally wrong.

"Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace." -Jerry Bridges

My "good" days are never good enough. They are filled with sinful motives and imperfections. My "bad" days expose that I am still a sinner and that it is not my righteousness that saves me, but Christ's. I am only holy and blameless because of HIM. God's grace perpetuates us through the entire Christian life. His love constrains and motivates us to continue on pursuing Him--not to lead a life of virtue for the sake of boasting and self-righteousness; we are motivated by love to continue pursuing Him because of the sake of knowing Him.

I didn't deserve God's grace at the moment of salvation and there is not a day that I do deserve His grace.  His grace is always sufficient and will get me through each day. It is infinite. Somehow, His infinite love and grace never give up on me and will somehow be shown in me in spite of myself. 

By God's grace, I will continue to press towards the mark. I have not yet arrived and will not until my Savior calls me home. I don't know everything that God has for me in this life, but by His grace, and only by His grace, I will know Him and be found in Him.